Words

I sat with a ninth grader yesterday. He had been studying all week, solving every math problem perfectly. But last night, his breaths were short, hands were trembling, and mind couldn’t recognize a simple equation.

“Relax. You’ll be fine,” I told him. “You’ve studied so hard and you know your stuff. Just think positively and you’ll do great!”

“So if I have good thoughts, I’ll do good on my test tomorrow?” He rubbed his eyes.

Before I could smile and blurt, “You got it!” a twelfth grader from across the room jumped in, “But that never works.”

The clock ticked. The photocopier buzzed. The mini fridge hummed.

The twelfth grader sat on a dark oak desk. A Parts of Speech poster hung behind him next to a Tutoring Centre: Polices and Rules chart. His pen drew swirls of blue ink on his exercise sheet.

“Really?” I said.

“Yeah, I thought I was gonna fail my test last week, but I got an A. So I wasn’t thinking positively at all and I ended up with a good mark.”

The ninth grader’s eyebrows rose. The side of his upper lip curled in a ‘Huh?’ expression.

I blinked. Three times. “You thought you were going to fail while you were studying?”

“No! I thought I’ll do fine while I was studying, but then when I wrote the test, it was hard and I thought I did bad.”

I let go of the breath I was holding from the moment he said, “But.” I knew I could steer back this conversation, at least in front of the ninth grader. I wanted his spirits to be high going into his test.

“Oh OK! So that’s exactly what I’m saying. When you were studying, you already gave off positive vibes. You worked hard and felt well prepared, right?”

“Riiiight.”

“And even if you thought you were going to fail after you wrote the test, didn’t you, deep inside, hope you’d do good?”

“Yeah.”

“There! Other than the fact that you studied hard, which you have done,” I glanced at the ninth grader, “you were thinking positively all along.”

Case solved. Point proven. Thank you.

Many of us underestimate the value of maintaining a positive attitude. Negativity, in all its forms, is destructive. I’m talking about feelings of doubt, worry, frustration, fear, anger, irritation, and disappointment. I bet you got nervous just by reading this list. These negative emotions limit our ability and distort our rationality. Now think about being confident, calm, happy, content, safe, and satisfied. Isn’t that better?

We should choose our thoughts before speaking. Not just for our own sake, but for those around us as well. Words transmit vibes, and being pessimistic and downbeat is contagious.

Sharing two cents shouldn’t be merely done for the sake of arguing. The context and consequence of what we say are what matter most – not how confident we sound when we give a rebuttal at the wrong time for no deliberate purpose other than to flex muscles.

Think before you speak. Such a simple concept. We should use it more often.

In related news: Breathe, relax, and be happy :)

Crete, Greece, Oct. 2011